Beauty influencer and YouTube star Nikkie de Jager — known for her channel name and Instagram handle “NikkieTutorials” — is coming out as transgender.
In a candid video released Monday, January 13, the star, 25, revealed she was born a boy, but knew — as soon as she “had the brains to think with” — that she was meant to be a girl.
“Today I am here to share something with you that I’ve always wanted to share with you one day, but under my own circumstances,” she began. “And it looks like that chance has been taken away from me. So today I am taking back my own power. I want to start the year off with the truth.”
“When I was younger, I was born in the wrong body which means that I am transgender. Now, so surreal saying this. Filming this video is scary but it feels so liberating and freeing,” she continued in the 17-minute clip, which has now been viewed over sixteen million times and has over 200,000 comments.
She said that when she was growing up, she always played with dolls and makeup, and by the time she was 6, her mom let her grow her hair out and start wearing girls’ clothes.
“I am NikkieTutorials and I am Nikkie,” she continued in the video. “I am me. We don’t need labels. If we are going to put a label on it, yes, I am transgender. But at the end of the day, I am me. And at the end of the day, you are you.”
At one point, de Jager began tearing up in front of her 12.4 million YouTube subscribers and 12.9 million Instagram followers. In the emotional clip, she thanked her mom — who is the owner of s Dutch beauty brand — for always supporting her and loving her for who she is. She also thanked her fiancé, Dylan, explaining that while she wishes she had come out to him sooner, the two are still together and hashing things out privately. Fans know the love birds got engaged over the summer, when Dylan proposed to de Jager during a romantic trip to Italy.
“At the end of the day, my story is beautiful,” the beauty influencer continued. “I’m proud of my story. No more holding back. No more secrets.”
Towards the end of the clip, she revealed that some haters had been trying to blackmail her and expose her transgender secret. To those people, de Jager raised her middle finger and said: “I hope you sit nice on it!”